les Muffins

Comment and I'll give you a letter. Then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. After, post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own.


H:
1. honesty
2. haiku
3. heckling
4. hands
5. hieroglyphics
6. House
7. harpoons
8. harbingers
9. Hulk, The
10. hammocks

Evan gave me the H, although she may have thought she was giving it to Joanna. Oh well. This was quite fun.

Traci le BBM

Katiekatie is over but she insists on sleeping. How the gods hate me. She's real fugly. I mean like whoa.

hahahahaha

Traci le BBM

I'm going to try to give you an accurate picture of the action in my life. I haven't done or tried this in a while.

I attend the University of Houston Main Campus on Tuesdays and Thursdays with my brother. We each take four classes. I have a Chick Fil-A sandwich every day for lunch.

On Halloween I got a job at Babies R Us. I'm being trained to work in the Apparel section, but I'd rather just work the cash register, and I'm going to petition to do so.

My sister is about to have her baby, within the next ten days. I'm worried about working out with my work how I'm going to be there for the birth. Oh but I'm way excited because Joanna might be there for it too! What fun.

I just finished reading Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card. It's quite good, not disappointing like Mel said it would be. She says Speaker for the Dead is good but slow, and the other two are somewhat disappointing because they're more philosophical and less action. I'm reserving my judgement till I read them, but I don't think I'll mind. Sometimes I like slow.

Starting next weekend, lots of my friends are coming back in town, and I will be more than anything relieved to have them back, if only for a week. I constantly miss having a connection to and history with my friends, because my school friends are all so new (with the exception of Kristin and Becca, but they're sort of new to me,too.)

My Mana has lung cancer. She probably has somewhere from six months to three years left to live. She's undergoing radiation therapy because she's too week for chemotherapy. My mother goes every Wednesday through Saturday evening to visit her and help share my Aunt Tracy's role in providing care.

In the mean time, I'm meant to be substituting at her work on Fridays. I missed last week, and this week I can only do a half day because I work myself at six and there's no way to get me home to do that unless Ted picks me up from here at twelve-thirty.

So that's where I am now, Claremont, which is where I always am when I post on this thing. Funny that.

Traci le BBM

PS do you see how my lack of connection leaches me of my hilarity? Hell really is where nothing connects with nothing.

Smartass.

Traci le BBM

That's right, bitches. One-hundred fucking percent. And, it was a really fun quiz.

Traci le BBM

Okay, so, way to be TOTALLY UNHELPFUL. Seriously, that's a five-way tie. You only managed to eliminate one photo. Look, darling masses, I asked you so you'd end my indecisiveness over the issue. And although so far I've used Travis's right-in vote as the winner, I don't intend to for long because it's myspacey and yellow and such.

Who do I appease? Audra and Katie G? Lizzie and Jordan? Jesse and Mary? Ryan and Exmatt? Yasmin and Evan? (Although, by the way, WAY TO BE PREDICTABLE, EVERYONE. I mean, if you gave me a list of people who would vote, I could have matched the person to the vote.)

Polls are addicting.

Traci le BBM

PS Eww I need to write my Sociology midterm and I really really don't want to. Arrrghghgh. I can't believe I didn't do it before. I wish I had only taken nine hours. Life would be so much easier that way. Next semester I know I'm taking the part ii to my Political Science class, and the next level up in Math, and I don't remember if there's a part ii to my Geology, but if there is I'll take that. So that leaves me a class open. Hmm.

EDIT: So just kidding, I totally overlooked Katiekatie's vote for the whistling one. So that makes three for that one, so that one wins for now. Travis's choice is officially demoted. However, if he had voted through normal channels, perhaps his vote would now count for something.

Well, I can't decide which one, so I'll let the masses decide for me!

Sondage#840827 If You Were Me, and You Were Choosing Which Photo Ought to Be Your Profile PIcture on Facebook and/or Myspace and/or Livejournal, Which of These Photos Would You Choose?
Ouvert à : Tous, résultats détaillés visibles par : Tous, participants: 12

Refer to the title of this poll, and choose only one.

Traci le BBM

Okay, so I thought I'd share this joy with whoever still reads this:

I have been friended by a "Vampyre" on MySpace. I...I think he might be serious. He refers to himself as Elder DeKron, and he "breathes fire". Try not to laugh, it only makes you laugh harder which is always a plus.

I have absolutely no idea why a Vampyre would want to friend me, but apparently I'm just attractive to all...types? Anyhoo, don't take my word for it, go check him out:

http://www.myspace.com/elderdrekon

I'm so glad I'm not kidding, because it's way way funnier for being real.

Traci le BBM

That's right, I sold my integrity and let them post ads on my page so I can post polls and have more userpics, which I will be creating shortly. So, vote vote vote!!!

Sondage#836752 Who Will You Vote For in the November Gubernatorial Election?
Ouvert à : Tous, résultats détaillés visibles par : Tous, participants: 7

Who will you vote for in the November Gubernatorial Election?

Traci le BBM

It's funny but I only think to update this thing when I'm subbing for my mom at Claremont, which of course I am Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of this week. It's freezing in here, it always is, but today I thought to bring tea so I could drink something hot while I sit here and do nothing especial. I'm re-reading Fahrenheit 451...

damn. Dave just called, and he wants me to call some guy named Antonio about him leaving trash in the alley or something, and also we need more welding or something. Now I have to find the number, and then wait till Ana gets here at one and have her call with me because he doesn't speak English. So this is just peachy. I hate calling people.

And also, the earrings I'm wearing are not meant for phone calls. They've got a rose that hangs down on a kind of hook, and it just caught on the receiver and nearly ripped my ear off.

"Play the man, Master Ridley; we shall this day light such a candle, by God's grace, in England, as I trust shall never be put out."
which is what a man named Latimer said to Nicholas Ridley, as they were being burnt alive at Oxford, for heresy, on October 16th, 1555.

Isn't that good?

More later, if anything at all happens.

Traci le BBM

I hate being angry. Or, more than angry, livid, if you like. Hate and anger always seem to go together like that. I don't know why I insist on being so angry. But I am. I am furious as I type this. Almost out of control, but not quite. It's never quite out of control. I hate having to make my motions gentle, so as to not do any lasting damage to myself or my surroundings. I try not to leave red marks on my skin, or at least just the shallow scratches that go away in an hour. It's just maddening and intoxicating and I shake with the effort of keeping myself in check. I can't help but yell and curse in the arguement, which I rue because my dad didn't really do anything wrong, but it's him with the power and him that refuses to use his power. Don't press your temples too hard. When you make fists, don't let your nails cut into your skin too deeply. Uughgh. I think the sick part is that I might like being angry, which is why I can't get over it very fast or efficiently. I want to want to be happy, but I guess I don't, or something. I guess I want to be angry, but I wish this weren't so. So much for journalizing relieving the pressure of the anger. I can feel myself just storing it below the surface. Bottling it up again. I haven't done that since school let out. Is that it? Am I nervous about school? Well, not really. I haven't really accepted it enough to be nervous yet. I breathe in so hard to strain my lungs. It helps, but I think it might be unhealthy or something. Okay this has helped some, although I don't know how much is ranting and how much is just time.

Traci le BBM

Just woke up from a couple nightmares in a row. Seems as good a time as any to update.

Things have been going pretty fast. The last two days I've been at UH for my Freshman Orientation Conference. I pretty much sat through a whole lot so I could

A. take the Math Placement Test (Algebra-14, Advanced Algebra-7, Calculus Readiness-20.) Those were some weird results. I'm surprised at how much I suddenly suck at Algebra and how much I suddenly rock at Calculus. I've got the pass to take any of the following: MATH 1300, 1310, 1311, 1312, 1313, 1314, 1330, 1431, or 2311. However, I'm sticking with the basic College Algebra 1310 just to be on the safe side and plus it's an easy A.

B. schedule my classes which are(for the time being)
04980 English Comp I T_TH 0830-1000
10722 Math 1310 T_TH 1000-1130
07408 Texas Government (in a manner of speaking) 1336 T_TH 1300-1430
10352 Physical Geology T_TH 1430-1600

Somehow I got myself roped into Geology. I needed a class for the afternoon, and it had to be Tuesday/Thursday, and seriously the social sciences, histories, humanities, and normal sciences are gone for USD freshman. I ought to have expected that, I guess, but I didn't so here I am in a class of five including myself thus far.

And then also, my IB scores should be in somewhat soon (online it said early-to-mid August). UH only accepts credit in HL tests, which means I could be in for up to twelve hours of credit for English, Eco, and Art. Suh-weet.

C. Get my Cougar One Card which is necessary for crap like attendance and having money on campus. Those shits told me I couldn't get one because I don't have a valid Texas-issued ID. So now I have to damn well get one, which I was supposed to already but I didn't. Those bastards, making me follow the rules in order to get my education.

But all in all, the conference was pretty okay. The dorms sucked and made me feel really good about not living on campus anymore. I was shocked by the number of kids who weren't exempt from the THEA (you only have to score 500 on verbal and math SAT, or the equivalent on a slew of other tests). Me and my 800 were exempt x12, pretty much.

I was determined to be social with mixed results. I made several new friends, but none I tried to make, and talked to a couple people I already knew. George from Jerusalem (not a freshman) invited me to a frat party, which I declined because I was alone. My roommate Ovie and I hung out with people she made friends with, Ivette and Isabel, I think their names were. That was alright.

The best of it was "this morning" at breakfast. My roommate and I decided to sleep in, and I was nearly late for the mandatory seven forty-five meeting with our Orientation Leaders in which I'd hear where we were going for the day. I heard the schedule, which included a tour of the campus directly following the meeting. I elected to skip it, and went to go get breakfast which I hadn't gotten yet. I bought an apple and some cran-apple juice with some coffee cake that I didn't end up eating and found a nice secluded place on the bottom floor of the UC outside (which I guess I've got to call the basement, but it's outside and you can look up to the ground floor and second floor and people watch and whatnot. It was really peaceful and I felt very college-y with my good for you food, flipping through my Math scores and the Courses Catalog.

No wait. I take it back. The best was "yesterday" when I met Trevor and Marshall(? I don't remember exactly because he didn't have a name tag) in the elevator and they were sarcastic/witty and funny and very excited and made me feel very social. They were fun.

By the way, where is the humor in this post? Also, where is the interest to anyone but myself? I need to not write these post-nightmareatic, because this facts-recitation thing is calming for me but also tedious for the masses.

And on that note, it's time to read till I fall asleep with the lights on. Maybe more updates tomorrow or the next day or never.

Traci le BBM

The end of an era has finally come...

I quit the Pea.

And on very short notice. How irresponsible. But let's list the pros and cons of the Majestic Pea:

CONS:
Irregular hours.
Not enough hours.
Shit for pay.
Only 1/2 off the non-expensive food.
No respect.
Bottom of the food chain.
Paul never liked me.
No opportunity for advancement.
No opportunity for a pay raise.
Joy's gone, so if I fuck up I'm gone regardless.
Jason.

PROS:
The cool servers (Edgar, Frank, Julie, Brett, Shawn, Robert, Janelle, Adrian, Carlos, and a few others.)

So yeah. I'd say quitting was a good call. Especially because now I'm going to clean Mel and Brent's house once a week for fifty bucks a pop, which is as much as I'd make at the Pea in a week anyways. So my money is still the same until I can find a new job.

I could live here if I wanted. The jury's still out on that one.

I dunno where I'm going to live once school starts. I still really really want to live on campus with KT, but I dunno if A) I can totally afford it and B)if it's a wise idea to spend my money that way even if I could. I realize it's idiotic, but my real question is, would it be worth it? I know I'm a damn Jew and don't spend money willingly, but I've got a glitch there- I'll spend money even lavishly if I think it's worth it. It's all about quality over quantity. The jury is waiting for further evidence for this verdict.

I need to coerce Ted into taking me to UH to see about orientation and also picking classes and financial aid peoples.

I also need to find a new job. (Mel'll help)

I also need to learn to drive. (Brent'll help)

Seems like I'm depending on my siblings an awful lot for this whole growing up adventure. Rachel already helped me with the bank account thing. Note to self: must deposit checks before I lose them.

So the real reason I'm writing this isn't to update everyone on the nuances of my life. Most people that I want to know about my life don't read this anyways. The real reason is simple: I can't sleep. I know I won't be able to until at least two, and it's only eleven-thirty. So I guess you could say I'm just killing time here.

Bad habits to kick:

Grinding my teeth into headaches.
Clenching my teeth in my sleep.
Touching my face when I'm thinking.
Sticking my finger in my eye if there's an itch.
Doing too many sudoku and dreaming them.
Watching the Real World: Key West (I won't be kicking this one. Everyone needs a guilty pleasure in life.)
Drinking so much Coke. (Super-Size Me has officially scared me, even if I think his whole experiment was invalid. There's still a lot of sugar and caffeine in soft drinks, and I drink a lot of them, and I can't sleep at night. Correlation?)
Procrastinating (even if it's always more spectacular whenever I eventually pull off whatever it was I was supposed to do)
Picking the zit-gone-cut on my cheek.
Having a weird fear of talking to acquaintances on the telephone.

Alright. Maybe I'll go do a couple more sudoku or something. So much for kicking bad habits.

Traci le BBM

Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player (or in my case, Ares) to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrassing it is.

How many songs: 495 (I try to keep the number down as best I can)


Sort Song by Title:
First Song: 1979 - Smashing Pumpkins
Last Song: Zombie - the Cranberries

Sort by Time:
Shortest Song: Happy Birthday - Ramones & the Simpsons (0:36)
Longest Song: You're All Diseased - George Carlin (1:02:13)

Sort by Album:
First Song: Like A California King - Everclear
Last Song: There's Only One Way to Rock - Sammy Hagar

Top 5 Most Played Songs (okay so mine doesn't have this neato feature, so I'm amending this to Top 5 Songs that I Know I've Played A Lot of Very Recently):
1. Hurt - Johnny Cash
2. La Vie Bohème - Rent
3. Cupid's Chokehold - Gym Class Heroes
4. Possum Kingdom - the Toadies
5. Castles Made of Sand - Jimi Hendrix

Type the given word in the search bar, and how many songs come up.
"sex"- 2
"death"- 0
"love"- 11
"you"- 59
"blue"- 4
"sky"- 2

Traci le BBM

So, remember that ginormous photo of me from my graduation party, the one where I look naked with the tiara? And you know how my parents display our graduation photos in the stairwell? Well, the fact that this narcissistic photo is twice the size of the other kids' photos has not stopped my parents from wanting to display it with the rest of them, "up really high so it looks smaller". AKA not only is it huge but it's also to be positioned in a conspicuous and dominating place. It's pretty funny, if a little embarrassing. Take that, other siblings. I am clearly the favorite. hahaha.

Traci le BBM

I gots me a Robert C. Byrd scholarship for $1500 (renewable every year) to add to my JA $1000. So that rocks.

I'm at Mel and Brent's now, I just owned them at Scrabble. We had all sorts of fun words like 'geek', 'jedi', 'randy' gone 'brandy', 'cigar', and I almost had 'whore' but Mel wouldn't trade me her w. We painted part of her kitchen fun colors, so happy birthday to Mel. I'm about to bring down Tri-Bond, which I'm relatively good at when sober. Better not drink any more wine.

I've got lots of fun things to look forward to at the moment, such as week at the Conti's beach house in Surfside, and a TWISTER BONANZA!!! which me and John are planning for the French class coming up, and a week in Cali avec ma mère. This summer is shaping up nicely.

Wow. Spinning in my chair seemed like such a good idea, but it really just wasn't. It's just disorienting. How lame.

Traci le BBM

Today I taught Team Bobifer pre-cal. I feel really good about never having paid attention in class seeing as how Mr. Lynch can't teach me, and still being able to teach the subject to these kids who haven't learned a damn thing all year. Cris says, "I'm learning for a change!" and Traci feels the joy. I'm not sure if this is related to my ridiculous love of power, or what, but all I can say is I like feeling like a genius and spreading my geniusosity to others.

I also figured out recently that I'm not all that great when explaining things or telling stories or whatever to a crowd. I'm a very focussed individual, so dividing my attention between more than one person is harder. I tend to just ignore one and give my all to the other. It makes me laugh, but also think that I need to work on this because I need to be able to work a crowd.

Today is my dad's birthday. Tonight me, Rachel, Patrick, and for a while my mom are going to a hotel downtown because my dad is totally smashed and wants to watch Lost in peace. Ted declined the invitation to go with us, and Patrick is taking his sweet time about getting here.

I haven't updated in quite a while.

The Pea is going okay. I thought I'd quit a while back, but look how that turned out.

I'm about to graduate. Weird. And I'm actually somewhat proud of myself, for all the crap I've accomplished this year. I'm giving myself a little bit of credit. I'm not 100% that this credit is due to me, but I'm giving myself a sliver of it regardless.

I'm gonna work my ass off all summer so I can afford to live on campus this fall. KT will be my roommate, it will be ridiculous and fun.

It's hitting me that I'm gonna miss Joanna and a lot of others like whoa.

Camillo the Italian Boy asked me out. It was ridiculous and borderline hilarious. I told him I'd think about it. I'm kind of surprised he asked me considering how much I abuse him. Then again, I did expand his vocabulary. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't know what countless terms like pouty-pants, whiner, jerk, slutface, manslut, uptight, and rubber were. So I guess this could be construed as gratitude.

THis summer should be interesting. Maybe I'll talk more later. Maybe.

Traci le BBM

I finished my Papers I and II. Kulsoom would be proud.

Traci le BBM

What to do, what to do? I hate IB. I haven't done either of my English Papers, because I don't know how long they're supposed to be, or either of my Eco Internal Assessments, because I left my binder at school so I don't have an example to follow. I haven't done or even started or even thought up a topic for my Extended Essay. I really really want to quit.

But I won't. I can't. I would rather bullshit my way through, become a liar, burn out, have no life, and go crazy than feel like a hypocrite and a failure.

Time to set to work.

Traci le BBM